Why Should You Hire Me?

My experience is that you, as a client, will be unhappy with any copywriter or consultant you hire if certain conditions exist—and if certain other conditions do not.

Here’s some guidance to decide whether my services are a good “fit” for your needs.

Before you sign my agreement and send a retainer, read the below carefully. If it discourages you, don’t hire me; we would not be happy with each other:

  1. I do best with clients that are either direct marketers or have a direct marketing “mindset”; i.e., they need copy to generate a measurable, tangible response—either to generate a positive ROI or beat an existing control.
  2. You’ll be happy with me if you like highly persuasive copy and aren’t afraid to use long copy if the situation warrants.
    Clients who are interested primarily in goals other than increasing response and ROI — IE. funny content, serve their own egos, etc. — are better served elsewhere.
  3. If you are an expert in direct response, we should work in a collaborative partnership; you may know more than I do.
  4. On the other hand, if you admit you know little or nothing about direct response, you need to let me drive and stay out of my way. If you don’t agree, don’t hire me.
  5. Some clients, those in large corporate settings, expect their creative vendors and consultants to be available on a “beck and call” basis, able to take a conference call or rewrite copy on a moment’s notice. I am not.
  6. Clients who will like my service give their copywriters the time needed to create great copy. They are much more interested in “I want it good” rather than “I want it fast.”
  7. Once you give me the assignment, you don’t continually call me to ask, “How’s it going?” Trust that if I need something from you, I’ll ask.
  8. When you give me a copywriting assignment, I go away and work hard on your copy. If you want me to do so, you will not interrupt me in this task with frequent phone calls and e-mails.
  9. I work with clients PRIMARILY by mail, fax, phone, FedEx, and e-mail. Currently, I’m meeting face-to-face only with businesses in the Columbus, Ohio area. For me to visit you outside the Columbus area, arrangements will have to be made that benefit both parties.
  10. Some clients (small businesses and others not experienced in or advanced about marketing) need to understand that what I am selling you for the fee you paid me is copy. And copy only. Nothing else.
  11. Because I do not control lists, offer, price, product, external events, and a variety of other factors that can affect your marketing, I cannot, and will not, guarantee results.
  12. I can, however, continue to work for you, if you wish to contract with me to do so, on developing different sales themes, copy, and offers to produce a winning promotion for your product.
  13. I do not offer “project management” in the sense of coordinating all aspects of a promotion (copy, design, list, production, mailing). I write the copy. And that’s it. But I can recommend project managers to you if you need that kind of “agency” service.

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